Daily Walks

BN and I talk a lot about exercise and eating right and our boys are adopting this way of life.  They don't moan and groan when we want to do active things.  They don't cry and gag when I put broccoli and brussels sprouts on their plates.  They are understanding that these things are necessary to be healthy and free of disease.

I wish I had understood this when I was 8 or 12 or 25.  My mom always fed us wonderful meals and we hardly ever ate out, but there was plenty of the bad stuff around.  Meaning man made "food" products.  It wasn't her fault.  The gooberment said it was just fine and for a busy single mom, it was quick and easy.

Recently, Pete asked if he could go on my daily walks with me.  At first I was hesitant because I walk briskly and use this as a main form of exercise.  In the past, when I've headed out on my walks and the family wanted to tag along, it ended up being a leisurely walk around our neighborhood.

I never complained because I enjoyed that family time and cherish that my boys want to spend time with us, but it wasn't my normal workout.

So when Pete asked me this, I told him that is was going to be fast.  He would have to stay with me because I wasn't slowing down and RePete had to use wheels since I knew he couldn't keep up.

So far, so good.  I do make a pit stop about halfway through at the neighborhood pier so they can skip rocks, and watch the water life.

taken with iPhone

~R

Like father, like son...

Clothes shopping with BN is a waiting game.  He takes quite a while to choose the clothes and then he has to try them on.  It sounds pretty normal unless you are the one waiting.  The wait goes on and on and on.  And the funny thing is that the clothes he chooses look exactly like the other clothes hanging in the closet and folded in the dresser.  Not sure what all the indecision is about.

Pete takes time too.  His isn't about being choosy but more about finding a comfortable fit.  His clothes have to be just so or he can't wear them.  We spent way too much time in the store today.  He came out with two pair of jeans and two shirts.

I'm exhausted.

~R

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NaBloPoMo #9

One article Laura Grace Weldon wrote dealt with violence.  While skimming it, I found that the bigger message could easily be applied to everyday life.  Something as small as resolving conflicts within a loving, peaceful family.  (she herself may have said something similar, but I was skimming so may have missed some points)  And it made me think about my dad's visit this weekend.

"Nonviolence requires a level of conviction and inner strength that makes violence look easy."

Back in the day, my dad's day, kids were seen and not heard and spanking was just part of life.  He grew up in an orphanage and I'm sure the mentality there reinforced these ideas.  As he's gotten older and raised other kids, including many step-siblings and my 15 year old half-brother, he's softened a bit.  But on some things, he hasn't budged.

While visiting this past week, there were several occasions where I saw him shake his head and make that little hrmph sound as an indication that my boys were doing something wrong.  Those times included them getting rowdy and back talking.  He also said something to me once or twice about not letting them talk that way to me.

On some levels, I see it.  On others, I don't.  BN and I have always shared the opinion that human beings are human beings, no matter their age.  And thus deserve the same dignities and preservation of self. 

For one, we don't spank or smack.  I always cringe when I see a person smack a baby.  Babies don't know any better and smacking is not our solution.  Their world is all about the exploration and sometimes that includes the "no-nos".  There are plenty of ways to dissuade that discovery or behavior that do not involve violence.

Once the babies leave that phase they are just like us only smaller - both in size and knowledge base. 

Anyway, I'm am way off track.  Back to the story.

I admit that I probably let my kids get away with small infractions.  I always discuss these issues, but don't always act on them unless bodily harm is involved.  Or mental and emotional harm in the case of teasing and name calling.  Or it involves social norms and how we deal with it.  (we homeschoolers have a social stigma, apparently)

Kids get rowdy.  As long as they are in our home and they are not bothering anyone else, I don't correct them.  Based on my dad's hrmph, I knew they needed to take the fun elsewhere.  No problem.

As far as the back talking or what dad perceived as back talking, well, I might be a bit wishy washy on this matter.  BN and I believe that kids get a say in things.  Do they get a say in our finances?  No.  Do they get a say in what BN and I personally do?  No.  But in respect to their own lives, they get a say.

So when I tell them to stop what they are doing and do something else, I allow for some negotiation.  My dad doesn't.

But my kids are well adjusted human beings.  Capable of thinking for themselves.  And that's how I roll.

~R

The day the TV went out...

It was a dark and gloomy...day.  It really was.  We had just been cleared of the two tornado warnings in our area and with all the rain and the wind, we just wanted to hunker down and watch a movie.

BN was out of town and a neighbor kid just home from school was hunkering down with us.  Then, "POP!" and the 55 inch screen went dark.  At first there was excitement over the popping noise and then disbelief that we couldn't watch t.v. or a movie or play a video game. 

That television was the only one in the house because BN and I are strict about keeping all television activity in the family room.  Our bedroom is used for two things and t.v. is not one of them.  We don't allow televisions in the boys' rooms because we don't want them spending so much time apart from the family, which happens with kids we know that have access to games and computers and televisions in their own rooms.

So when the boob tube went out and the mourning period was over, the boys grabbed their big box of markers and art pads and sat at the table drawing until dinner.

We spent the remainder of Friday and all day Saturday and Sunday without television.  The boys played outside when it wasn't raining and when it was, they played indoors.  Simple as that.

You can bet your booty that we are fixing the problem, but I'm kinda liking the silence.

~R