I am no trophy wife

Yesterday we went to dinner and then BN and the boys wanted to stop for ice cream at Cold Stone. Not a big fan of ice cream myself so I didn't get any. The place was packed and the outdoor seating was full, so we sat on the concrete benches that wrap around the planting boxes outside of Cold Stone and the theater.

These two little boys came over and boy were they talkative. Charlie was seven and was relishing every bite of his ice cream. His four year old brother Jimmy, must have relished his, because his face was covered in it. They were with their dad and older brother (which explains the ice cream covered face-lol).

Like I said, Charlie was talkative and he started asking Pete about game systems. I think he asked if we had a "DS". Pete said no but we had a Game Cube and a PS3. Charlie mentioned a Wii and then they both started "outdoing" one another about the prices. Before they started beating their chests and challenging one another to wrestling matches, I interjected that I wanted a Wii.

Charlie was amazed and told me that he didn't know any other moms that wanted a Wii. I told him that I thought they looked fun and got you moving. He scooped out his last bit of ice cream, walked over and looked me right in the eyes (I was still seated) and said I should get Wii Fit cause I would lose lots of weight.

Now at this point, I remind myself that I can still squish my fat ass into a size 10 and might have told anyone else the same, but looking at his freckled face and blue eyes, I just threw my head back and laughed. I laughed heartily and then to his puzzled look added that he might be right.

Honestly, I don't think Charlie meant anything by what he said. I think he was just parroting what he knew about Wii Fit. But even if he did (and he might of) I really love the pureness and honesty that comes from kids. It's so refreshing.

~R

Hollywood Sucks!

Today, while helping RePete get his pants on, he reached down and pointed to his testicles and said,

"Look, Mom, brains."

???

************************************

We have the Transformers movie and the boys have watched it a few times. Today, they played it in the van and that meant I could only listen to it since the screen hangs from the middle of the van roof just behind the front seats. And I was driving - so watching wouldn't have been a good idea. Kind of like talking on cell phones...

Anyhoo, with no visuals, I had to rely on my keen sense of hearing and what did I hear?

"Bro's before Ho's" As in your male friends come before your girlfriends.

What the hell?!!! Why do our movies have this kind of nonsense in them? It was the same feeling I had when watching Zathura. Why did the little eight year old have to call his preteen brother a dick? He could have called him a jerk and it would have had the same effect. And what mother lets her eight year old son curse...even for the sake of a movie.

I'm sure I am over-reacting and my sons didn't catch it (that I know of) since neither said anything. And MY eight year old WOULD ask about it. He's curious like that.

And I am not a prude. I just happen to think kids have all the time in the world to be affected by this kind of crap AFTER they stop being kids. I mean think about it. If the average lifespan is 80 years (give or take a few), and you are only considered a child for 18 years, then LET THEM BE KIDS FOR EIGHTEEN YEARS! They've got 60 more years to curse and "act adult".

My BIL, who is a child himself, thinks we shelter our boys. You yourself have probably heard someone say, "well, they have to learn sometime" or "they have to grow up some day". Well, no shit Sherlock! When they are 19, they can say bro's before ho's anytime they want, as long as they are not in my presence.

BUUUTTT we hope we sheltered put enough good sense into them that they choose better words than that.

~R

How to K1ll your k1ds: Part II

Sunday was a nice day and we hadn't made plans, so I talked BN into gathering the troops and going Letterboxing. We decided to finish the job that Pogo and I almost died from gave up.

If you've never heard of Letterboxing and you like to hike, follow clues and use a stamp pad (woohoo), then make sure and click on it to find out more. It's the thrill of the hunt, usually with really bad directions and compass readings. At least that's my story. I don't know how to read a compass and BN said he did but we couldn't find the last box so we headed back to our van and called it day. Hey, 3 out of 4 ain't bad.

It wasn't quite as hot as that last fateful trip and BN took charge of the water. My oldest has a habit of watering the flora when we hike. Not only is it annoying but it makes us all cranky when we run out. We no longer have the stroller so BN ended up carrying RePete the last mile. He's a good daddy.



~R

Family Reunions

My dad's side of the family gets together yearly for the family reunion. It's always held at my Aunt Pat's home, not only because she has acres and acres and the setting is perfect, but because she's the Matriarch of the bunch.

My dad left us and began his new family when I was nine years old. Because we moved away and of course because they were divorced, my mother never really took us to visit with any of dad's family over those following years. I was always saddened by that and being a kid, of course, I didn't understand everything that transpired during those times and why it was the way it was. I kept in touch sporadically with a couple of my cousins but nothing lasting.

After graduating, my dad came back into our lives and with him came the rest of the family. That first year I went with him to our family reunion, I was filled with excitement and trepidation. I stepped out of the car to be met with the hardest and most heartfelt hug from Aunt Pat. She couldn't stop looking at me and telling how good it was to see me. Those missing years melted away.

With everyone else, it felt a little different but still good. All the "stories" were told again and again. There are lots of stories and inside jokes that my sister and I didn't get. We met cousins we didn't get to meet before or that we were too young to remember. Pictures, food, swimming, games, fireworks. A typical family reunion.

Each year we've returned and listened to the stories again and again. My sister and I, though we feel a part of the family, still feel a little outside of it. Just enough to wonder if we'll make the trip each year and just enough to pack up the car and go.


~R

Boyly Moments

That is a play on Boy and Girly.

I think little girls are great. If I had little girls, I would have been happy. But I didn't. I had little boys. Oh, okay and truthfully, I like little boys better than little girls. They whine less, for one.

I know people who have boys and keep trying for girls. (And the reverse of that too. Gotta have a boy to carry on the proud family name.) I've never understood that. I'm so happy to have two healthy, intelligent kids, that I could care less how they go pee-pee.

So for those of you with boys that are longing for girls, I'd like to share a few Boyly Moments with you. Boys will tickle your back and brush your hair - if you bribe them.

And if your little mudslingers are into pain and torment, go buy a jar of wax. I used to go to the salon to get waxed but making time for appointments often left me with hairy legs and an invite to the pool. So I decided to start waxing myself.

You've never truly bonded with your sons until they've lovingly ripped the hair off your leg. And mine really get into it. I certainly didn't ask for their help but the thought of ripping something, possibly causing pain really appeals to my two.

So don't think that if you are blessed with boys, your mothering isn't complete. Those Boyly Moments are just as wondrous and painful. See? Their laughing, my crying - just like mothers and daughters.

~R

Our Future Proctologist

My husband is the King of Too Much Information when it comes to our kids. I like to keep our kids informed also, but know when to stop.

So one day we are on the subject of getting physicals and BN somehow blurts out that at 40 years old, men get a rectal exam.

Pete: A rectal exam?

BN: Yes, they stick a finger up your butt.

Pete: OMG, that will hurt. No way am I getting that done.

and round and round they went.

Two days ago, Pete comes out of the bathroom, face all concerned and asks,

Pete: Mom, is a doctor really going to stick their finger all the way up my butt?

Me: (I'm gonna kill BN) Yes, a doctor, with a glove on his hand, will insert his finger in your anus as part of your exam.

Pete: Well, that will hurt too much. Not gonna get it done.

Me: That'll be up to you. But it's part of a regular checkup at that age and most think it is necessary. It won't hurt too much if at all anyway.

Pete: Well, I just tried it and I couldn't get my finger in there.

Me: You did scrub your hands when you were done, right?

(word of caution: DO NOT TOUCH THE NAIL BRUSH IN OUR GUEST BATH)

~R

Her Carseat

The boys love watching Flushed Away and they especially love the song played during the credits, "What's New Pu$$yCat?"

Pete, my ever inquisitive one asked what a pussycat is? We told him a cat. Then he shortens the song and leaves off the cat. Gah!! We wait. Hoping he'll just finish the song and move on. Nope. He wants to know what pu$$y is. We tell him it means cat. He thinks and then asks how it could also mean cat and we tell him that lots of words mean the same thing. He continues to say it over and over and over.

So I finally break down and tell him that pu$$y is usually not a word that is said by itself and not a word we want him to say. WHY??? (ofcourse) BECAUSE! I say.

moving on...

My Kubi-girl is a strange little kitty. She walks around like she owns the house and is tres particular and then she up and uses RePete's old carseat for a bed. It really doesn't suit her queenly demeanor at all and yet I love her more for it.


I really get a kick out of saying to BN, "Kubi is in her carseat." It sounds hysterical to me. I need to get out more.

~R