Monday, April 13, 2009

Sex Education, Part I

...or lack of.

Pete is nine and things that used to go over his head are no longer.

The other day in the car went something like this:

Pete: Mom, why do my testicles hang down?

Me: That's just how you are made.

Pete: But why? Why can't they be inside?

Me: Well, they just are. (thinking) Your body is too hot. They need to be at a cooler temperature. (crap)

Pete: Why?

Me: (how do I get around this? is there any other way?) Well, there's a fluid inside that needs the cooler temperature. If it gets too hot, it'll die. (crappola)

Pete: I'm gonna die!!!

Me: NO! The fluid will die.

Pete: Whydoesthefluiddie?AndwhydoIneedit?Whatisitfor?

Me: (biiiiig breath) Well, Pete, the fluid contains sperm. Sperm is needed to make babies and if it dies, you can't make babies. (work with me here, people, I'm trying to simplify and tell as little as possible, but it isn't working)

Pete: What do you mean? Moms make the babies.

Me: Well, (I couldn't stop using that opener) babies actually require a Dad and a Mom. The sperm from the Dad and the egg from the Mom make the baby.

Pete: You have eggs! (think chicken) Can I see them?

Me: (I go on to explain how tiny they are and that he can't see them)

Pete chews on this information for a bit, then asks the biggie.

Pete: How do Dads and Moms make babies.

Me: Pete, I'm tired right now and I answered your original question. I think the rest should be answered when you are a bit older.

Pete: Mooooom, I'm niiiine!!!!

Me: Right. Ask me again when you are a teenager.

**I thought I was done. I'll share Part II tomorrow.**


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