Saturday, December 3, 2011

I finally saw it.

Twilight, that is.  My sister had a free night and needed to take her son to meet his date at the movies, so we decided to double date with them.  The fact that we couldn't go in together or watch the same movie didn't bother us one little bit.

And I learned a valuable lesson:  never chew wintergreen gum at the movies during a quiet scene.

I don't know how it happened but the theater was so quiet and I switched from popcorn to gum during the scene where Bella is laboring and Jacob is in shock at her "death".  I stopped chewing - because it was so quiet in there I could hear myself chewing even with my mouth shut - and then it happened.

Somehow, wintergreen infused saliva slid down the back of my throat and into my windpipe.  I had to cough but it was so dang quiet in there, I tried not to.  The force of trying to hold that cough in made me pee my pants just a little (my bladder will never be the same after my 9 and 10 pound babies), so I tried to get enough breath to tell my sister I was leaving my purse and needed to go to the bathroom.  She, a nurse, was poised and ready to perform the Heimlich or CPR or something drastic and I put up my hand - like hold up a minute, I'm fine really - and my eyes were starting to water at this point and I was walking down the steps and across the aisle to the lobby exit.

A couple in front of me held open the door and I'm sure because of my tear stained eyes and slight convulsive-type heaving (still trying to be quiet and not wet my pants), they probably thought I was all choked up over Bella "dying".

Finally, I make it to a stall and pee, cough, pee, cough, etc.  Cough a few extra times as I wash my hands and then make my way back to the theater hoping I didn't miss Jacob shirtless or anything.

And that's how I learned to never chew wintergreen gum at the movies.

~R

4 comments:

  1. I think the real lesson here is that trashy movies make you cough.

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  2. hahah!

    Now, when I went and saw the movie, I was sitting beside my pregnant sister. During the cheesy wolf-talking scene, my sister laughed so hard and got me laughing so hard that I think we both peed our pants. (by the way - the people in front of us HATED us) - but the people behind us were laughing too.

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  3. Thanks for the laugh.. I about pee my pants.. lol.. I am glad you had a good. love you, Holly

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  4. Ami - so true, but I love them.

    Karmyn - I didn't laugh so much at that part as I stared incredulously. What a lame moment that was! lol

    Hey Holly! Love ya back.

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How sweet of you to drop by.