Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Is the grass any greener or just a different variety?

I must be really sappy. I am still thinking about everyone's stories from Monday. Some romantic, some not so. Some weird, some exciting. But one comment really stuck out in my mind.

I won't look it back up and quote, I certainly don't want to draw attention to it personally. I just want to talk about it. One person admitted on another's blog that they wondered if Mr. Right was out there but added the current Mr. was a good man. I think I only saw two people who wrote about a different love than their current one and I wonder how many people think about "what if?" I wonder how they got where they are, with all that longing. It saddens me, but considering the whole 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce statistic, there must be a lot of longing going on.

I had a few other offers during that almost 2 year break up. I had an offer while I was engaged that I politely turned down. One was too obnoxious to even consider, one had a hairy back (sue me) and one - well duh, I was engaged but I really hope he found someone special.

A few months back, I saw an ad on the tv that was for the "perfect match". This one was different because it offered to let you input you and your spouse's information and see if you are compatible. I actually gave it 10 seconds thought at the time, thinking I would put everything in and it would come back and read just how perfect we were.~*~sigh~*~ And then the 10 seconds were up and I thought, oh my gosh, what if it comes back that we are not compatible...that I should have taken that last offer. haha. So I never input the info.

So it started me thinking about BN and I. We just hit 17 years of marriage and I wondered if when we got back together way back when, was it just comfortable? Or was there more to it? So I thought back over the last 17 years. We spent the first 10 years living footloose and fancy free - meaning no children. Those first 10 years were wedded bliss, one looong honey moon. We slept naked, went on dates, went on a LOT of dates, and then dated some more, with one another of course. Each day still felt fresh and new. Then we decided to have baby number one. We started sleeping in pajamas, I wore bloomers, being overprotective, we didn't go on dates. Our priorities changed. Four years later and we added baby number two. More of the same - but not bad more of the same.

Over the course of the last 17 years, we've both changed. We've also both stayed much the same. BN still does the silly things he did when we were in high school to get me to laugh. He's called me NB and I've called him BN since the early days and it's still has meaning for us. We're starting to feel comfortable letting others care for our boys, so we're dating again (thanks doo and YMCA).

I'm fairly certain that when RePete leaves for college, we'll start sleeping naked again. I think you can waste a perfectly good marriage wondering about what ifs.


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