Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Boys and Anatomy 101

When you birth boys, you should be given an Anatomy Pamphlet before you are allowed to leave the hospital. And no, I don't mean with a literal Anatomy Lesson. If you have birthed a baby boy, then you have had s3x and I sure hope you know enough about that body part because it's what got you in this Mother of Boys predicament in the first place.

You know what body part I am talking about...the p3nis! Apparently, that is not the only name for it and as a mother of boys, you really need to get a p3nis dictionary and brush up on all the synonyms. That is the very pamphlet I am going to write and present to all the local hospitals. Basically it will include all the names for the p3nis and rules for avoiding saying any of them out loud in front of your boys. Here's an example of when the rules are not followed.

The other day, Pete and his friend from down the street (he's eight) were playing at our house and RePete was playing nearby and doing something silly. After 3 times, I finally told RePete not to be such a "dingdong". HELLO! That is on the list of names that shall not be said out loud in the presence of boys. Immediately the giggling started and then this. "Heh, heh, uh dingdong", "Heh heh heh she said dingdong", and "Heh (snort) heh dingdong, uh dingdong". If this dialog sounds familiar, let me entertain you, oh mothers of tubesteak owners with the originals. **Beware, this is 6:09 minutes of your life you will never get back!** (Beavis and Butthead bit removed)


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How sweet of you to drop by.