100 things

Well, I didn't know about "100 things post" with the old blog so never did it and now I've gotten carried away with the 365 thing and missed my 100th post by about 20, I think.
I think this will be hard to compose because, well, I tell everything to anyone who will listen. Actually, I'm not such an open book, but I've certainly told more than my share on here, but here goes. Just don't hate me when I'm done. My heart can't take it.

1. I have OCD qualities. If the pancake mix says "makes 6 pancakes", then dadgumit, at the end of cooking I better have 6 pancakes.
2. I love handwashing dishes. As a youngster, it gave a me a moments peace and I'm finding it does the same thing as a oldster.
3. I have five 2-year degrees. I wonder if I can trade them all in for a PhD?
4. Actually two of them are 3-year degrees but there isn't a name for it, so it gets shoved under 2-years.
5. I'm not currently using any of them.
6. Unless you count Interior Design. Everyone wants free advice.
7. I love painting.
8. I wish I had an art studio. I will have one in our next house.
9. I am a soft drink addict. Diet Coke, my choice of poisons.
10. I love routines.
11. I haven't had one since I had Pete.
12. I used to wake up at 7am sharp without an alarm clock.
13. Now I wait until I hear the boys stir to get our of bed.
14. And only with misgivings. I need to go to bed earlier.
15. I want to quit blogging.
16. No I don't.
17. Yes, I do.
18. Maybe later.
19. I am a bit claustrophobic. I can't have covers over my head or have anyone too close to my face for too long.
20. Sometimes this affects my ability to wear turtlenecks. I feel like I am choking.
21. As long as I don't look in the mirror, I still think I weigh 130 lbs.
22. I also think I look 25.
23. I'm wrong on both accounts.
24. I love school supplies.
25. Even though we don't need most of the stuff on school supply lists as homeschoolers, I still buy them.
26. I have stockpiles of school supplies.
27. I also love stationary. I don't use it, I collect it.
28. I don't use it because I have been typing so long that my hands tire quickly when I write.
29. And my tiring hands write so poorly.
30. I used to have beautiful penmanship.
31. Oh and stationary and cards with birds on them are a bonus.
32. I love ketchup and spaghetti sauce, but hate tomatoes.
33. I love onion rings, but hate onions.
34. My Mom would make special sauce for me that did not have huge onion and pepper chunks.
35. It's not really the taste I dislike, it's the texture or the crunch.
36. I always wanted to be an artist growing up.
37. I had several pieces show while I was a teenager.
38. I didn't want to paint for money. Or rather I didn't want to HAVE to create. It takes away the passion.
39. I chickened out of leaving for college on the day I was set to go, car packed, family kissed goodbye.
40. Then sat on the steps and called my Mom and asked if I could stay.
41. We've been through a lot, my Mom, my Sister and I.
42. I didn't want to leave them.
43. I used to live in a chicken house. It was converted into a house, but it's beginnings was to house chickens.
44. I know how to catch, clean and cook all kinds of fish.
45. I also know how to use an axe and a chainsaw because we had woodstoves when we lived with my stepdad.
46. My last name changed when I was 13.
47. Imagine how weird that was going on summer break with one name and returning to school in the fall with another name.
48. My dad had a new family to take care of.
49. My stepdad thought it made him look good to adopt those poor girls under his name.
50. I've always hated his last name.
51. Even now, when I fill out forms and they ask for maiden name, it takes everything I have to write his name down.
52. He's dead now.
53. My dad and I have reconciled but we'll never be the same.
54. Anyone who says children don't need a stable male figure in their lives is wrong.
55. I'm living proof.
56. And so is my sister.
57. Don't worry, we're fine.
58. But we'd be so much better if our dad had chosen us.
59. Example. I've always been at the top of my class.
60. I've always been a top performer in my jobs.
61. I have little REAL confidence.
62. So I put up a facade.
63. I am uncomfortable around men in general.
64. It's the ones most like a father figure that I am drawn to.
65. Okay so now I'm depressed, let's move on. Thank God for BN.
66. I have tons of beautiful jewelry, but never wear it.
67. I don't like tedious facial routines. Wash, scrub, toner, wrinkle cream, etc etc.
68. I wear big dark sunglasses to ward off wrinkles.
69. So far it has worked.
70. I wanted to upload my Ipod with new music (it was handed down from BN) and realized I know longer know what I like.
71. I love shopping for the dumbest things. Like dish towels and dental floss.
72. I love the dentist.
73. They say I am a model patient. Clean teeth.
74. I got BN to start flossing when we first married.
75. He has thanked me ever since.
76. I love nail polish, but it makes my nails brittle.
77. My hands look like my Mothers.
78. I love that.
79. I waited six long years to move back east after leaving home.
80. Now I wish to move back west.
81. We will in a few years.
82. I really want to ski a black diamond hill.
83. I am too afraid to leave the bunny slopes.
84. In fact I am afraid of anything fast. Biking, skating, skiing, driving.
85. I enjoyed my time in the military.
86. I had a cake job, as they say.
87. We were subject to the same rules as pilots, so I never had to stand watch.
88. I didn't chip paint.
89. I was an Air Traffic Controller.
90. Even after the Navy, I was quickly promoted at all the jobs I've held.
91. I still don't know why.
92. I really struggle with staying home with my kids.
93. I love them.
94. I hate the monotony.
95. I hope my children become just like their father.
96. Being around me so much is bound to wear off on them, though.
97. I hope to travel the world someday.
98. But only if BN is by my side.

Ignore any grammar or spelling errors. It's late, I just vomited this up and this is way too big to proof.
Okay, so now I want to erase half of what I said, but I won't. It's raw, it's me.
~R