Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Effing Hygienist

(Pretend it's Thursday please, I'm getting a hemorrhoid. Gotta get off the computer. Computer chair that is, you sickos.)

After lunch at Firehouse Subs, the boys and I went to Toys R Crazy and bought Tech Decks and then started for the park. On the way, I called some friends to see if they wanted to meet us there and they couldn't because they were on the field trip that we had to miss.

WAIT! Why did we miss the field trip? CRAP! Pete had a dental appointment that morning. Well SHAT! Since we were close to the dentist I just drove over there to let them know what happened and see if anyone cancelled and we could squeeze in. It was 1:25.

Fortunately, she could get us in at 2pm, but Pete had to...poo. So, I had to drive all the way home, coach Pete in a fast poo, and then drive like a bat out of hell to get back by 2pm. Luckily the hygienist was kind and understanding and took Pete back for his cleaning.

Then I came back to sit for when the dentist looked him over. Pete said, "Mom, I thought I wasn't supposed to get fluoride." Me, looking to the hygenist, "Oh that's right, his old dentist probably only sent over xrays not forms so you wouldn't know not to use fluoride. Would you please note that in his folder." Her (still smiling kindly): "Sure, but you know that fluoride is great for still developing teeth, right?" Me: "Thanks, but we prefer not to use fluoride."

Then the evil grin appeared. The all-knowing, hmmmm grin. The one that no matter what I say at this point, no matter that I had gone to college for 10 years and I'm great with small talk and usually make people laugh, she can only give up the smirking, snarky, belittling grin.

She mentioned she had daughters in 2nd and preschool. And then she asked about home schooling and I knew no matter what I said, she'd provide me with that grin. So when she assumed that RePete was doing preschool right now, I said nope, it isn't necessary. Her grin became something she could hardly contain. Her eyes were starting to look funny, so I knew I had to go on. I had to push her buttons.

I told her that I didn't do preschool because kids learn that stuff through play. And it's true. I told her that RePete, like his brother before him, learned counting, shapes, colors and the alphabet and letter sounds without any need for formal instruction.

"I mean, it's not rocket science, right", I laughed. She was about to burst and that was exactly what I hoped would happen.

Effing Hygienist.

ps Oopsie on the spelling. It's hygIenist, not hygenist. Must have been too late for posting. :-)

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